• Welcome

    Welcome to the legendary Dark Warriors of Club Penguin Online

    On the original Club Penguin, we were ranked as the strongest army in history. We were created in October 2007 by Ambrosha, and we lived until 2015. We had many wars with legendary armies – and now in 2019 we have made a return!

    The Dark Warriors do not necessarily seek to do what is right. We seek to grow our army and become the biggest, providing a fun environment for all our troops.

    You can also find us as the “Dark Pirates” on CPR!

    We burn the light!

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Dark Storyers: Revenge of the EPF

Hey there DW! We’re back again with another story. Today, I’ve got a sequel to our last story. If you haven’t read it yet, you can check it out here. Without further ado, I present the Revenge of the EPF.


I couldn’t believe I had to face our annoying director, Spi, after the weekend I just had. He likes to call himself the “Spi director” because he’s a leader at the EPF. I stumbled into the Everyday Phoning Facility and took the elevator up to the office. Habitually, I grabbed a cup of E+C and let the caffeine energize my body from my beak down to my flippers. With a sigh of relief, I made my way to the briefing room for our morning meeting. Others joined me, and finally, Spi walked in. “Hello Dark Warriors!” He chimed, much too energetically for a Monday morning, “Let’s get right down to business. That pandemic was uncalled for. Obviously we now have a cure thanks to agents Spotty and Fly. As I am incredibly grateful for their work, I’m assigning you two on the case of investigating the origin of CROVID-19, along with agents Noa and Kris. Our Noob agents- I MEAN INTERNS, Nosehead and Caramel will be your backups for this investigation. Dismissed!” I laughed as a look of rage emerged on Caramel’s face. “I’m not a noob!” She exclaimed. “Considering we’re still interns, we technically are,” Nose replied. Cara rolled her eyes and ran out of the room, displeased with her superiors, Nose following closely behind while laughing.

I walked up to Noa and Spotty, waiting on Kris to bring us the case file. “Boring weekend, now who’s ready for a boring week?” Kris said sarcastically. I snickered as she handed me a paper. Glancing at it, I recognized it and said: “Oh god, DNA sequences?” I facepalmed. “Why do we need to analyze them?” Spotty asked. “It’s probably crab DNA,” Noa said. I nodded in agreement. “That’s really the only lead we have,” Kris said. “So let’s start there.” We all agreed and ventured out of headquarters to find more evidence. “Here’s something we know,” Noa said, “Something was in the food during your dating event. Where did you get it?” Kris paused for a second and then responded “I don’t remember. Maybe we can start at the pizza place and investigate their suppliers.” We entered the pizza parlor and asked for the owner. “Hey there, welcome to Big Caesar’s! How can I help you EXTRA saucy gals?” said the owner Caesar, winking. I laughed and got right down to business. “We’re agents of the EPF,” I said, “I’m Agent Fly, can you tell me a little bit about who supplies your food?” Caesar looked surprised, “Why? It’s mostly just cheese and pepperoni and stuff.” A waitress named Indigo piped in: “It’s because of the pandemic. Crab in the food, remember?” Caesar exclaimed, “That makes more sense! I’ll have Indigo get you a list of our supply companies.” Indigo walked into a back room and returned with a neatly kept folder. “Here you go,” She said, handing us the files. “Thank you,” Kris replied, adding the folder to our case file. As we were walking out, Caesar made one last comment. “Make sure to look out for our special! Check out that poster on your way out,” Caesar exclaimed, pointing at a sign on the wall. It read: “IN MY PIZZERIA, IF U EAT OUT ALL THE MILK IN A FULL GLASS! (AND I MEAN NO DRINKING IT, U GOTTA DIP PIZZAS IN IT) YOU GET THE PIZZAS U ATE FOR FREE! MUST BE DONE IN LESS THAN 10 MINUTES.” Noa and Kris looked disgusted, while Spotty laughed at the offer.

We continued on our way to the first food supplier on the list. “Hippo Products.” Our foursome reached the building, and entered. A security guard named Star quickly stopped us. “Can I see some ID?” She asked. We removed our badges, and showed her. “We need to speak to the owner,” Noa said. “Come with me.” Star said, beginning to walk swiftly. We made our way up a flight of stairs, and walked into the office of a man named Rishchamp. “Hey Rish, we have some EPF agents here,” Star told him. “We need to speak to you about your recent activities distributing crabs as food,” Kris said. “What about them? I know our products are super CRAB-tivating, but my partner Kyle handles most of the food we sell. I just do the financials,” he replied. “Let’s see your financial records then,” Spotty retorted. He handed us the files, and we discovered a large amount of money paid to them by the date warriors organization. “So you provided the food for the event,” Spotty inquired. “We did,” Kyle said, walking into Rish’s office. “That means you’re under arrest for causing the CROVID-19 virus,” Kris said quickly. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of claw.” Noa followed her lead and handcuffed Kyle while Kris handcuffed Rish. Back at the EPF, we briefly interrogated the duo. They claimed to be innocent. Spi walked in on us discussing how to proceed. “Hey noobs! Good job finding two suspects. Now I would prefer you do paperwork all night, but president Freezie said you four should take the evening off and handle this in the morning.” I sighed in relief while Spotty said “Yes, thank god. I’m gonna go have that pizza milk special for dinner.” Noa laughed and said “I’ll head over to Julia’s place for dinner.” She practically ran out, excited to meet with her friend, leaving Kris and I together. “We can be normal and just go home and eat alone!” Kris exclaimed. I nodded and smiled, leaving for my own igloo. I made myself some noodles and ate them while watching today’s sled racing highlights. I heard my phone ring and picked up. “Hello?” I asked. “Fly it’s an emergency zoom zoom speed KACHOW to the HQ laboratory NOW,” Noa said and hung up immediately. I got up and practically ran back to headquarters.

I found Noa in the lab and asked her what’s going on. “I was watching Iceberg Nine-Nine with Julia and she noticed some fur in my hair. I’m testing it right now,” She said. “You were the first one in my contacts, so I only called you. You can text Spotty, since she’s your partner,” I nodded and texted Spotty to meet us back at HQ. Shortly after, Kris walked in. “Hey I heard you guys have a lead?” I glanced at Noa with a worried look on my face. “How do you know that?” Noa asked. “You texted me,” She said. “No, I texted Spotty,” I retorted. Suspiciously, I had Noa finish testing the fur and I handcuffed Kris. “What are you doing?!” Kris exclaimed. “Something feels off,” I said, shaking my head. I led her to an interrogation room and shut the door. Twenty minutes went by, but Kris refused to answer any of my questions. To my surprise, Noa burst in with the test results and Spotty in handcuffs. “It was a polar bear. Specifically related to Herbert, but he’s dead. How is this possible?” She inquired. We continued questioning Spotty and Kris, but still no luck. Noa and I went outside the room to take a break. “Didn’t Spotty meet someone during the dating event you guys did?” Noa asked. “Yeah, Lucifer.” I pulled out my phone and made a few calls. In a few minutes, Lucifer rushed in, with Ninja by his side. “Why are you two together?” Noa asked. “We decided to try going on a date, that’s none of your business,” Ninja replied, annoyed with us. “What do you need?” Lucifer asked us. Noa and I explained the situation and the suspicions we had of Kris and Spotty. He understood and entered the interrogation room. Weakened by his charm, Spotty revealed the evil agenda of her and Kris. “Alright, it’s true. I’m actually a polar bear. My name is Herbz, I’m the daughter of Herbert. Kris is Klutz, the daughter of Klutzy and she started CROVID-19.” She continued on with her elaborate plan to wipe out Club Penguin Island. Ninja, after witnessing the evilness of Spotty, burst into the room. “I can’t believe you. I thought you were this amazing, funny girl who loves pizza and milk. But now I know I never should’ve fallen for you,” Ninja exclaimed. He grabbed Lucifer and kissed him, leaving Spotty devastated and alone. She sighed and said “Looks like I need a new boyfriend! Again…” Driven by rage, Spotty returned to her Polar bear form, breaking her and Kris’ handcuffs. Together, they disappeared in an instant. Where did they go?, I thought.

To be continued…

That’s all for this edition of the Dark Storyers! Look out for the next edition, which dives deeper into the backstory (and maybe plans) of the ultimate evil duo, Herbz and Klutz. Thanks for reading!
– Komal/Fly

4 Responses

  1. Baam (Big Bad Bashu)#9092: I WANT TO BE FAMOUS, ADD ME IN :))

  2. Dang spotty and kris I-
    also ninja x Lucifer :chefskiss:

    -Sid

  3. PRESIDENT FREEZIE LMAO

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